Rising from Adversity: Yahne Sneed's Path to Empowerment and the Power of Emotional Resilience

0:02 All right. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the show. Today we have the special guest, Yane Sneed. I might be pronouncing that wrong. She will correct me again. I make these mistakes all the time. But yeah, let's see what she has to say. Did I pronounce that properly? If I didn't, so, no, yeah Y'all did, we did Okay. So can you tell me a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you're about and what your message is? Yeah, loaded question. I'm gonna start from my message.

0:42 My message is just basically about giving back, making sure everyone knows that they're loved and that they're thought of. And the reason why I say that is because I came from a very challenging background. I didn't really have the best foot in life. I didn't really have the best cards in life that was dealt to me, so I really had to manifest what I wanted to be in this world. I didn't have a lot of family members that supported me or spoke life into me. My mom during the early years of my life she mentally and emotionally abused me. My dad mentally, emotionally and sexually abused me. I didn't really have a lot of friends. I was bullied a lot. Needless to say that I was very aggressive child, very misunderstood child, and I looked in search for my identity and my purpose because no one really showed me what that looked like and how to really manifest that into this world, into myself as well, to show myself love, my confidence.

1:42 It wasn't until I started going into this mentorship program, being around other kids, because prior to this I wasn't around a lot of kids. I was transferred out of school so I didn't really have a lot of friends, so I was really lonely. But when I got into this mentorship program, I started finding my belonging and what I realized is that me helping them was for my benefit as well. We all connected through pain and I was helping them through what I was going through in life and I started transitioning to this world where I wanted to give back, because there are a lot of individuals out here who are lonely and depressed, filled with anxiety, don't really know their purpose in this world or have low self-esteem and have low confidence and want to do better but don't know how to.

2:28 So I started really challenging myself in college to be the best individual I want to see in this world, which led me to 2022 when I started my own business called Relentless Phoenix. That is a life coaching business and inspirational speaking and keynote business where I'm going around and just helping individuals or clients of mine really manifest what they want and overcome their adversities and don't let that adversity become known. So my message is all about giving back and just loving yourself and being the best human possible.

3:12 So how did you get the strength to ever open up about your inner struggles with these mentors, because that must have been a very difficult and traumatic situation. How did you sort of come into yourself, to where you could open up and begin to discuss that? Are you referring to my mentorship or when I was mentoring? I'm thinking more in general, because when you go through that level of trauma as a child, you know growing up like I mean it must be hard. Talking about that in general, you know, and where does the strength come from to finally open up? So when it comes down to my sperm donor because that's what I call him, the one who abused me it took me seven years to open up.

3:56 This happened to me in middle school. I didn't open up until I was in college, so it took me about seven years to open up. I did a lot of self-sabotaging during that whole period. I'm trying to fill that void. I'm just trying to get away from the darkness. A lot of things I was doing to myself that wasn't good. When I was in college and I started being around others, I realized everyone is going through a struggle. It may not be similar to mine, but everyone is going through a struggle and may not be similar to mine, but everyone is going through a struggle. And when I saw that I was helping individuals with their struggles through what I've been through because it's great to know that someone can empathize with you rather than sympathize, and that's what I saw I felt belonging in helping them because that's one less individual to have to go through depression, anxiety.

4:41 After college, I started getting more involved with individuals because my background was in social work. Um, so after I graduated, I started having clients or consumers or customers or what have you, and I started doing social work, I realized there was a great need for us for everyone to share their story. Everyone feels like their events are isolated events and that they're going through things alone. They're going through their struggles alone and they don't know if anyone can empathize and really feel how they feel it and be that, that ear to listen to them. And I was one of those when I was in social work. But I didn't really feel about my belonging, my purpose, because I felt like my story was helping individuals rather than my work as a social worker was helping them.

5:28 So I started doing a lot of mental challenges, the mental work of going deeper and challenging my negative thought process, challenging how I saw the world, my perspective and how I saw myself in it. And after I did all that, it also gave grace to my mom who emotionally abused me, forgiveness, gave grace to myself, allowed myself to lean into those thoughts and allow myself to get out of those thoughts by understanding that I'm far greater than those negative thoughts. It was a challenge. It didn't happen overnight, but I got to a period in my life where I, internally, was okay with what I went through and that helped a lot, because I wasn't at first.

6:12 That's why I never spoke up about the things that I went through, because I wasn't internally okay. So I got to a point where I was internally okay with it, because everyone is going through something. So I have no reason to feel ashamed about what I went through. I have no reason to be in a victimhood. I could always be in a victimhood and that's where I stand on, because it's really important for me to be okay with what I went through, because everyone is not. So I want everyone to see that on the other side of leaning into your pain or your situation comes a blessing, and it's called peace. I want to be wholesome in my life and I want to be happy, and I don't want what I've been through or my experiences to change me, because that's what's going on with humanity now.

6:53 We're getting chained to our past not trauma, not pain and no one's overcoming it, and that's why the world is the way it is now. So if I can encourage someone to be okay with what they're going through, then as one less human, then life didn't take away. That was very powerful. And you know, I really understand now why you have such. You know a purpose and a direction in what you do and I can understand. You know where you got that initial strength. And you know. I'm just curious now, when you help these people, who in particular did you help and what did you actually get out of it and what did they get out of it too?

7:43 What did you actually get out of it and what did they get out of it too? Because I think it's important to know kind of the effect that you have on people too, because that probably makes you feel better about yourself too and you can help people who are going through those things too. So could you maybe elaborate on a bit more of those situations where you were helping other people out and you kind of began to build that circle? Yeah. So the individuals that I help come from trauma background as well depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, frustration, name it. They come with a lot of challenges, mental challenges and me being a mindset life coach, I kind of tackled those mental challenges and challenged those thought processes.

8:29 And even before I even knew I had a gift, I knew that I was helping and that was my ultimate goal was just to help, because no one helped me and I know what help feels like and I know that if I can give that to someone, that would make a chain reaction, domino effect One domino fall, another one fall. Therefore, in my mind, I can be very biased with this, but I do believe in utopia, that we can have this world where we can make mistakes but no one can judge us, or we can make mistakes and we're okay with that, and we don't have this embarrassment of all the dark secrets that we have in our closet and try to hide them so many times. So when I do help these individuals, um, that, the, the, the overall theme that I get when I help these individuals is the, the epiphany of, of it all, like, wow, that all moment, um, that's always what I get, because sometimes we could be always in our own tornado, and it takes just that one individual to to give you a different perspective in life and that tornado is not a tornado no more.

9:29 Now it's a rainbow, or it's the, the sunshine after the storm. Now, because now that I came in, looking on the outside in, I give you a different perspective, a way to think about something that you probably never, ever thought about. So you have that, that aha moment or that oh, oh, wow. I always get that a lot Like I never thought about it that way. We always don't. We're always in our life situations. We don't think outside, looking in, because we're inside of it. So we can't possibly think that way. So when I intervene and I stop the negative cycle of whatever is going on in their life, it's put through a different thing we all go through. But when I stop that cycle, whatever is going on in their life is put through a different thing we all go through. But when I stop that cycle, it helps me as well, because once again, I could be biased, but I personally feel as though when I help an individual, it's helping me too.

10:12 There's one less negative individual in this world. There's one less hatred in this world. There's one less something, because I do have daughters, I have two amazing children and I help them to be the best humans they can possibly be in this world. And me being a life coach. If I'm helping other individuals that I can connect with and say, hey, you have a friend in me. You have someone that probably never told you they love you or probably never say that you got this, so you have that in your ear versus all the negativity that's around you. So I am that light in the tunnel for some people, that willing to pick themselves up, and that's the next thing. I can only do so much. So when an individual actually wants to meet me halfway and say, hey, I want things to change in my life, then that we're halfway there, because it takes an individual to acknowledge they want that change before I ever arrive I can't say, hey, I think you need to.

11:00 You know, fix that situation, look into it deeper. But if they're not there with maybe I should or be open-minded enough to look at it, then it's kind of null and void. So I'm just really that support system, um for that, and it does help me out because now it's like all right, I don't have to think about this individual anymore as somebody that I have to um think about it gonna make that they're gonna have a bomb threat at a school or they're gonna do do a human sex trafficking or something like that. Because how, I think, I think that there's certain individuals in the world that mentally are really messed up and I feel like when I do help at least one, I that's my mantra, one human at a time and I feel like if I do one human at a time, that I would get that, that that utopia type of feeling in this, in in this world, because it I need that, you need that, everyone needs that.

11:46 And when I do that I really do feel good about myself because as one less human I have to worry about, because now, that domino effect where I at least planted a seed inside of them that they can take something that I helped them with to build a foundation, build that roadmap for themselves to get through. Okay. Do you think, oh, here's a better thing? Your kids obviously, you know they remind you of yourself, but do you like that about them? Do you like seeing parts of yourself in them, and what qualities do you think might need to be improved or changed as they grow up?

12:34 Do you think they remind you of yourself when you were younger and you needed to overcome those obstacles as well? So I've been a lot of emotional resilience within my kids. My kids are very young. My oldest is eight and my second one is. Her birthday is actually today. Today, the 30th um, she's two. So I I don't have older kids. However, what I have started to do is build up their emotional resilience, because as kids they do go through things, you know bullying or being teased or whatever the case may be. So I start early with their their emotional control over the environment, and that's really that's really important, because kids don't have at that age eight, don't really have emotional control over their environment.

13:17 They'll have a fit in a heartbeat or last shower, whatever the case may be, because they don't understand how the world works. So I talk to my kids 100%, even a little one, because I believe babies understand more than any adult would. That's just me. So I talk to both my kids and explain more than an eight-year-old, because she has more of a conscious awareness of her environment. So I speak to her about a lot of different things that are going to happen in this world. I also speak to her how she can move and adapt into this world and how she can be her best authentic self without being bullied or without being pressured into a lot of different things, because she at that that period where you know outside influences can, she's very gullible, any child's very gullible at that age.

14:02 So I try to do the best I can with building her confidence up, giving her that emotional resilience and also giving her that room to be herself. Sometimes we lost track of that as we got older, of just being ourselves. We wanted to be so much when we was little and then the world hits us and then now we have to, you know, go into the corner and adapt again and come back out and fight. You know what life has. So I do the best I can with that. And as far as when it comes to some of the traits that I have and how it um shook her, shook her down to my kids, I do see that. I do see that a lot. Um, I don't know the what fruit's going to bear um from that, but some of the things that I do see is there um, especially my daughter, advocacy when it comes to speaking up for herself.

14:46 I admired it a lot. But the negative side of that um, it can be of a, of a be, of a sassy nature and um, that's kind of how I am, as, as you can see, I'm very passionate about things that I say, um, and I mean what I say when I say so. My daughter has that trait that she see how I approach life. So I do have to adjust the tone of of how passionate she say things and how passionate she see things, because she's very smart. My daughter is so intellectual. I homeschooled her because the school system sucked um. I homeschooled her up until possibly a year ago, when she was in first grade. So I homeschooled her a lot and made sure she had that um, the academics down, and then I started with how she can mature through her age, age appropriately mature, um, through her age in order to be like me, because she does want to, and that's the sweetest thing ever and I love her for that.

15:37 She want to be like me, so I try to lead by example. Um, you want to be like me with this. Well, there are certain things that needs to be curved. There's certain things that need to be highlighted. There's certain things that need to be, you know, tinkered with. You don't, can't, you just can't go out there and do things the way you want to do them. So I do teach about the rules of law and attraction and things like that, and energy and spirituality. So she, she meditates, she do a lot of things that I do, so I guide her as much as I possibly can, but I do understand life and how the outside world can influence her so as much, and we have a great relationship, which which helps plenty when it comes to me having to mold her the way I see her to be the outstanding human being that she is.

16:19 So I do those things and, yeah, it's turned out to be great so far. Excellent. And now going back to you, how is it like Balancing your lifestyle as both a mother and also a coach, counselor, influencer? How do you sort of Balance these two lifestyles and Also take care of yourself as well and maintain all that? Yes. So I don't see it as being different lifestyles, because what you see here is what I am off camera.

17:06 I'm passionate about. What I'm passionate about, I love to give back, regardless of if I'm on camera or not. I don't see it as being different because everything, all the many hats I try to put them a line up to each other. I'm very spiritual. Everything has to have a purpose, everything has to have a meaning, everything have to be intentional and that's the kind of way I work it out. So if I'm an influencer, I'm also a fluency in my life. I am proud myself. If I'm also an influencer in my life, I empower myself. If I'm an influencer in everybody else's life, I'm just including my kids. If I'm an influencer in the community, I'm an influencer all the way around. I'm influencing me, I'm influencing you, I'm influencing everybody who's around me. If it's my podcast I'm going to be having, I'm going to be the same thing.

17:47 I'm going to be the same thing. When I speak about emotional resilience, I want to make sure everyone know their love, especially when it comes down to my kids. It's just called balance and it's called accountability and it's called being attentional, and I'm attentional with everything and it flows in. I give myself time for myself as well. That's that's much needed, because if I'm exhausted, then I really can't be no good for no one my kids, my, my business, nothing. So it's all about balance, and measurable balance too. I'm not lazy about the work I do, because I'm very passionate about it and I believe I have a message. I give the message to my kids, like I said, my eight-year-old. I speak to her with all wisdom.

18:29 I speak to my clients with all wisdom. Everything that I touch is going to be filled with wisdom, because that's how I learned. I learned two ways either through people or through sorry excuse me even through humans, or through myself. So all of it is wisdom bound and measurable goals that I set and make sure every part of my life is achieved one way or another to the goal that I set. What are some of the biggest goals you've set that you've accomplished through this game? One of the biggest role in general is me.

19:09 My self-improvement was one of the biggest goals that I can ever give myself in this world. I was a very aggressive child. I got in a lot of fights when I was little. My teacher used to call me later Ali because how aggressive I was and how much fights I was getting into because I was a craft of health. I went through a tough and traumatic childhood. The fact that I can look back at that and literally say, if you knew Yanae 10 years ago, she wouldn't be like this is an understatement, because I really and like I even looked back a couple of days ago. My birthday just passed on March 9th. So I look at literally look at my birthday and I was like I came a long way, like I sacrificed a lot, long way, like I sacrificed a lot.

19:56 I dealt with a tough hand. I dealt with the self-love and the self-confidence that I have. That wasn't through no one else, that was through me and that's not taken lightly at all when it comes to, you know, overcoming your obstacles, because a lot of individuals can't overcome their obstacles. We've got suicide attempts, we've got a whole lot of issues. So to overcome the obstacles that I had to overcome and can be here with a smile on my face and have children because I did suicide attempts. I wouldn't have the two bright, smart children, beautiful children that I have now, or had my podcast coming or can be a keynote speaker or inspirational speaker if I gave up. So I give myself a tremendous pat on the back and be my own support system, because I didn't have that. I didn't have a whole bunch of naysayers.

20:37 My sperm donor, the one who abused me, said I wasn't going to amount to anything, that I wasn't going to go um, graduate high school or college and I was going to have kids, um, even before I reached college, so many kids. After I reached college, I was negatively influenced lot. I didn't have a lot of elders that could speak life into me. So to get to this point, to have self-love, to have my dignity, to have my self-confidence, that's a tremendous feat to face in itself, especially in this world where we have social media and the Kardashians and all this witch ways of trying to exclude you if you're not fit to this type of standard. So even my body image. It was a lot of things that I had to overcome a tremendous, tremendous hill, tremendous mountain to get to the top.

21:21 So I would say that's my ultimate goal that I would say, hangs down, that I'm extremely proud of, because I can look in the mirror and say I love myself through all of it and lean into those pains and be like you know what. It didn't change me like it did before. I could speak about the things that I went through and and and and feel great looking towards the future, because I'm not chained to that stuff, no more. Like I was, I don't, I haven't abused alcohol Like I was, I'm not, I'm not hurting myself like I was, and that's a great thing, because now I'm in a wholesome environment. I have two children that I'm not neglecting, I'm not abusing up, and that message stood with me throughout the test of time.

22:01 And I can't, you know, be be. I don't know what the word is, but I'm just beyond grateful that I can be here and share my story, because I don't know where I would have been to make a different decision of giving up and let my life overcome me. I overcame it. I overcame it. How do you advise that other people overcome their obstacles? Is there a strategy? Is there a game plan?

22:47 How did you give guidance to others? So certain things that I say. It depends on what those obstacles and adversities are. One of the things I say is the future is never here. The past is. The future is never here. The past is already gone. You only have this moment. So don't let your past change you to a moment that hasn't happened yet. So if it has happened already, it's not here anymore, it's not changed to you. Don't be mentally changed to it. Stay in the moment. Look towards right now. Don't look to the future and say I don't have. That's coming from a lack of inadequacy. Don't look to the past saying I lost. That's coming from a lack of inadequacy and void. Be right here in the moment. What do you have now that you can use to build your stepping stones to get to that foundation, that strong foundation that you wish to see in the future?

23:36 You have to plant that seed now. You can't wait for the seed to drop out of the sky. I wish that would happen. I prayed every day when I was religious to have a seed fall from the sky. Have something fall from the sky to help me, but no, the only thing that's going to help you is to help yourself. So if you want that happiness, then want it. Don't just say you want it and then expect somebody to come do it for you. That's the thing that that I had to save myself. The devil got me effed up. If you think my life is going to overcome me and this is going to be it, my story is not not done yet. And the devil is is you the devil? Is you the devil is your? Is your little, your little negative side over here, your little demon, demon that talks to you about the negative things, the bad images, and you have your good one and my bad side.

24:19 We all have them. We all have the bad side. Got me effed up if I'm going to lean into that. We all have choices Every day. We have choices Every day you wake up. You have a choice. Are you going to choose to be happy or are you going to choose to look on the negative side of things? What do you want to do? The choice is yours. You can say the external, you can, but the choice is yours. So what are you going to do to get on the right foot in life? That is all about you. So, from what I, could gather from all of this you're basically saying here so From what I could gather from all of this, you're basically saying here that it's important To take responsibility in life.

25:02 Yeah, yeah. Take responsibility in life Is the accurate thing possible. And not only responsibility, also grace and forgiveness, because we can say you know, I messed up something. But then, after you messed up and you acknowledge you messed up, what are you going to do about that? Are you going to forgive yourself and move forward? Or are you going to hold yourself hostage to something that you can't, is out of your control? Or are you going to do whatever you can every day you wake up to fix that? Or are you going to do whatever you can every day you wake up to fix that? And if it can't be fixed, are you willing enough to have that emotional resilience, adapt to that life situation and move forward and do better? Now that you learned better and that's the thing too with with me, with anyone, I would say is it's all about learning.

25:44 You can have a possibility, you can have accountability, but did you learn from it, though? Did you learn from what you went through? Because you didn't learn from it, you saying that, okay, I get it, it's not going to help anything, because if the universe is going to come back around, that's what we do. We're going to come back around and we're going to have that same situation again and it's going to test your hey, I get it. And if you didn't get it the first time, then you expect to have it again and again, again, until you get it. So that also plays a major role in life in general. Do you get what you just learned? You recognize it, but have you learned it?

26:42 When you run your business. I could imagine you have a pretty big niche and you have certain preferences on certain people that want to work with you, that want to work with you. So I'd imagine every coach has their little preferences right on what specific clients they want, what specific clients you would want. But coaches sometimes will turn down clients as well if they don't fit that specific criteria. So my question kind of is you know what's your criteria? Are there certain clients that you won't take, certain clients that you preferably take? Yeah.

27:24 So two things I only require, because I believe I can help anyone who's willing to help. But that's the first requirement Are you willing to do the work? Um, life coaching is not about, um, holding a hand. This is not a. This is not a holding hand session here. Um, that's what therapists to go through and hold your hand, and that's something that I'm not. Which brings me to to the second point is, if you need medication or you need this, life coaching is not that. Life coaching is on the ground measurable goals that you're going to achieve the moment you walk out of my session. Um, it's not big goals, it starts with small goals. But the the two things I require is your willingness to have the will to do it, because we always can say I'm willing to do it and then it's like oh, I didn't know it takes all of that to do it.

28:09 Well, I don't want you did not, not, not to take that back it. Well, I don't want you dead, not, not, not to take that back. It's not that I don't want you, it's it's it's. I would love to have you, but if you're not willing to do the work yourself, I can't force you to do the work. So there's no. So there's no point in wasting neither one of our time with you paying me or anything like that. If you're not willing to do the work, I don't want your money. If you don't want to do it, your money can be spent elsewhere on a therapist maybe. If that's be the case, all I'm doing is I want to help you, help yourself, and if you're not willing to help yourself, then it's not going to work out. Which brings me to option two. We can vent all day long, but I'm not a therapist. I'm willing to hear you out. Venting is very important for the soul because we need to cry it out.

28:52 Sometimes we need to curse it out. Sometimes we need to have the frustration. Sometimes we need to repeat it a thousand and one times to see how silly it sounds. Sometimes we just need to vent it out. Talking is fine. After talking, are you willing to sit with me and start making these measurable, obtainable, actionable goals? I'm not a therapist. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a therapist at all. So if you need medication, all means go ahead and go through insurance or whatever have you and go get the help that you rightfully need, because you deserve that. But if you're just willing to just want to talk, I don't want to do that. I don't want to talk because you can talk to a friend, you can talk to somebody. But if you're willing to vent and like, okay, I got my, I got it out, I didn't need to just get that out real quick, now on to the next thing, all right, then we can do that.

29:40 But as far as age limit, um, I don't do uh, anyone um that that needs a parent signature, um, because these are actionable goals that we actually need. So, like, um, college age and plus, by all means, uh, when it comes down to high school students, I will go in, I will do workshops, I will do situations like that, but when it's talking about actionable goals, you need to be responsible enough to do those actionable goals without being held out in the world. Yeah, you know, that's all really true and you know that's so important. You know, because I tend to find too that, you know, I think with coaches, people think that they're more psychiatrists, when a very neat set of skills to improve in life and it's very, very I think what you're trying to say is let's keep things logical, let's get things done and let that be that, you know.

30:43 Yeah, Now, forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I find it's interesting that you're saying that, because I would imagine, you know, a more male oriented coach would say something like this. But you're saying you know, because I would usually imagine in these types of environments there's more of this we go as a group, we vent together, we talk about our issues, but that's a different question. You know, know that I'm kind of falling Into here accidentally, but do you Do any forms of group coaching? I Do. Most of my Clients prefer one-on-one because they get the bang for their buck, they get the most Time with me versus sharing the time that happens once a Month.

31:29 That if I can get a collector that'd be Okay with sharing their stories, then that's fine, we can do that. But most of my clients just want a one-on-one time because, um, they see the more value of, of, of um, a one-on-one approach versus group. But group is beneficial. I would prefer group like a, like a um, a once, a once a month meeting type of thing where everyone can see that our stories are very vastly different but it's similar in how we interpret them. Hey, you know, life sucks. We can all agree that life sucks, you know. But it does come in different details. And I believe Root Session does you a benefit because you can find a community in pain.

32:11 You really do believe it, just like it happens when you go to a birthday party. But at a funeral you do the same thing. You have a community there in the funeral, everyone gather around each other. So, happiness or pain, you find a community. And having a support group that's what it is. You're supporting each other and I think both of the beneficial. But my clients prefer a one-on-one session. Prefer one-on-one session. So most of your clients prefer one-on-one. You know that's interesting because I generally hear that a lot of coaches do like one-on-one more often, especially if it's forgive me if I'm wrong, but especially if you're dealing with a lot less people. You know, I usually think of these big-time coaches.

32:54 I think you know who they are, but they usually have these audiences and they'll present and they'll talk to them. They'll assume the role of almost a speaker. But speaking, that's a big thing, especially public speaking. I think coaches tend to have lots of different outlets to do their work. So what's your outlet? So, from what I understand I think you mentioned a podcast before you mentioned coaching. Some coaches I know they also do. You know keynote speaks, they do webinars. What are your mediums that you kind of get your brand out and your message out?

33:38 so most of my brand comes from social media um, my facebook, instagram and now my, my tiktok is also spreading up. That's a new one I have, so so um basically comes from there. Um, as for a keynote speaker, I'm actually new to it. Um, I decided recently that I wanted to keynote speak, um only because my kids are older now and I got support system where I can travel. So I'm like you know what, let me do keynote speaking now, uh, where I can travel and meet a bigger audience, um, especially if I'm in New Jersey. So go to California or go to Florida, go somewhere I never have been and they never, they don't know who I am either to get that extra base.

34:22 So, not necessarily speaking now. Well, I am, like I said, it's new, but I do have to push more for that, but I'm just so. We just said on the podcast right now, which is called Religious Phoenix Podcast, coming out next month, so I'm focusing more on that to get the more awareness out, to have the backup for the keynote speaking, though, but I am doing that as well. As for webinars, I have done them. They're frequent. My whole thing is the my clients now, more than the webinars, but I do love a good webinar because then I can meet a massive audience as well. So that's pretty cool because I get Q and a sessions as well and they can ask the questions and I can get the um, the answers they need and everything like that, and I can build audience from that.

35:07 Yeah, that's so true. And again, you're an online business owner, and you know that's so true. And again, you're an online business owner and you know kind of. You know this whole idea of coaching. There's this idea of scale. You know, how much can I expand the business? You know, am I expanding it too quickly, too slowly? And you know that idea of you know being patient and just working with the clients that are important and not going too fast and scaling too quickly. You know it's such a a smart and introspective you know approach to the way you're doing things and I I just find that really impressive.

35:47 But I'm just jumping off of a guess here but why is it that you focus so much on just clients specifically and you don't really break off into these areas, or more it's like books and speaking right now and those other areas, because I can imagine you have a great message. So I do have. I am an author. I do have a book called Manufacturing Canvas it is on Amazon. A book called Manifest, your Canvas it is on Amazon. It speaks about motion resilience, internal and external factors and tips and tricks that you can use today to improve a minute life, to be a greater, better human. So I do have that. Definitely check it out. It's an awesome read, easy, friendly read. I do have my own stories in there as well, my life history and stuff in there to give some context as to why I put the things that I put in there as well.

36:32 My life history and stuff in there to get some context as to why I put the things that I put in there, because I use those tools as well. So in my everyday life, um, so I am, I am an author, so I do get some gigs off of off the book. Um, I do um in my community to um, they have different things for authors to come out and share their, their books and stuff, so I do get clients from them, so I do get them. Um, I focus on one human at a time. Like I said, that's my mantra Only because I really get to horn in tune in to really what is needed for them. I personally feel like webinars and out there is great. That's why I'm doing a podcast, so I can get more of a base.

37:16 But when I'm actually with them one on one, I don't know. I think I said go back to the beginning. How is it's not fulfilling for me to actually see them actually helping, like visually, see I'm actually helping someone because I can see better, knowing I actually did it and that could be I don't know narcissistic thing in me that I actually have to see that, but it is I do have. I do want to see that I'm actually helping individuals because I really do feel like I have a purpose in that, um, webinars or anything that I have done that was collectively done, um, as a group I get so hey, you know I get comments it was really good, it was that and that, but I don't know to what extent my help served them because it's a very vast and big audience.

38:02 I know I did well, I'm getting the feedback that I'm doing great, but to what extent I'm helping them I don't know how much to see that I have set inside of them or in a psyche or whatever actually set, but when I'm actually one on one with them and I get to ask them, hey, what did you implement, how did it feel? And I get to hear, yes, what you did was great, it actually influenced my life. I want to hear that. I want to hear that something I have given them that worked for me actually helped them. And now that I'm embarrassed it bears fruit and I can now say, hey, now you can live healthy and healthy, happy. Now you can live happy and healthy. That's what I say. Now you can live happy and healthy, because I'm actually seeing what is doing, versus me being a webinar and saying, hey, you know, it was great.

38:48 Well, how great was it? Did it really help you the way it needs to be help, are you sure, you know? And then I get the whole. Well, if you need additional help, then you can come to me, and then you know that's how I I get those transitioning. I'll have those clients, though, but to actually have the one-on-one for me personally, everyone else has their own thing, but for me personally, I don't know. I enjoy the one-on-one. I do enjoy those, those conversations of really going on the ground and getting it run and actually doing it. That's just me. Although I'm maybe an extrovert when it comes to I want to help, I'm very introvert when it comes down to. Did it really help you?

39:28 Well, among the world of coaches, I think you know it's a very big environment, just like podcasting, and I think it's really important in that environment to stand out. And this is your, you know your unique way of sort of standing out, you know. And. I can respect that. That's a good thing, no one really sees that this is a funny thing. I'm like that is my thing, that this is a funny thing because I'm like that is my thing If I can really capture, using empathy, and really capture their heart to know they actually have a friend, not just someone who wants their money. They actually have someone that they can count on. That's how I do relationships and keep the relationship strong and just don't treat them as a number, actually as a human.

40:15 It's a human. That's a big thing, you know. And again that goes back to that idea of authenticity, you know, and that idea of treating people like they should be treated. Again, you know this is all great stuff and I can imagine you know your kids look at how. You know this is all great stuff and I can imagine you know your kids look at how you run this business and they could learn from you from some respect on how to be entrepreneurs too, and that's such a rare, you know, privilege for them because you know, a lot of people don't really have that access to a parent that's running a business and doing well with the business. So you know, yeah, my daughter wants to be a podcaster now because she sees me on YouTube and she's like, well, I want to do that, you know.

41:01 I want to tell everybody they're loved. I want to tell everybody that they got to forgive themselves. I want to tell everybody they want to make it and I'm like, yeah, you will, you definitely will and I'll definitely help you with that. So, yeah, my, my, my oldest, like I said, is definitely trying to. You know, stay in my shoes and by all means, please stay, just not not in my shoes. You get the size I have, but not my shoes, because you walk your own story. I don't want you to be just like me. Could be similar, but don't be just like me, because then you walk into my, my story, not your own. So I do try to mold her to be herself by trying to take from me what I tell her is take certain personality traits I have and certain behaviors, but don't be me, because I'm me and you're you.

41:48 Yeah, you know, you're so right. You're so right, you know, and that's funny because it's like that with my dad. You know, because're so right. You're so right, you know, and that's funny because it's like that with my dad. You know, because there's certain qualities I have. We're a bit alike. My mom calls it out, but then there's other areas where we're just totally different. You know. So it's probably like that with you too, and you know that's all great stuff and you know your podcast that's definitely a big one too. I think most coaches what they'll do is they'll start a podcast and that podcast will sort of have an underlying message or an underlying tone. And the people you bring on usually it'll be you know your clients, sometimes people that you're friends with, acquaintance with you know, maybe even your own kids.

42:32 But that's usually what I could get from coaches who decide to start their podcast, maybe market their products, new things like that. So what are you going to actually use your podcast for exactly? To save the world. That might not be something you want want to hear, but I do believe in utopia. I do believe that I can plant a seed of hope and I can plant a seed of change. It could be my social background and believe in I can start one human at a time and it can really be a victor instead of a victim. I do believe that and that's that's 100 where I'm going to tune into. My podcast is going to be mixed up with interviews I am going to have I'm not going to call them clients, but if I have well, I know I'm going to have I'm speaking into existence, when I have my game my followers.

43:25 I am going to invite them onto my podcast, just like this, to answer any questions that you have. I'm going to have several of them because I do believe that sometimes we need a different outlet. Maybe you don't want to go, maybe you don't want to be a one-on-one and pay a client, pay me as a client, but maybe they have just one question and they want to just have that question answered and maybe it'll be a benefit to somebody else. So I don't want to close off who I help and I think my podcast would definitely be a benefit to that, because I can reach a brighter audience that may not even know I exist on YouTube or such, and they can have a question answered one question or two question, dependent on you know the time and everything. I am going to give enough time for you know those that want to have a questions answered.

44:09 I am going to have interviews from, like you said, family and friends, those that I want to have on board. I'm also going to speak a lot about emotional resilience, grace and forgiveness, because I believe those three things in accountability and attention. There'll be a lot of different things, but the three topics I'm really going to speak about is emotional resilience, grace and forgiveness, because I do believe those three things are very important when it comes to life and how you deal with life and how you see life and how you see yourself in life, because your perception of how you can adapt to life challenges is important how much of a grace you give um yourself, including others, because we make mistakes. Sometimes we're very hard on ourselves, we make mistakes, so giving grace is very important and find that peace and wholesome in your life.

44:52 And also forgiveness is important as well, because sometimes we don't really understand what forgiveness is. We feel like, um, giving them, say we forgive them somehow, is giving them the right to to, or giving us the right to feel like they are resolved from their what they did to us, and necessarily that's not the case at all. You're forgiving yourself for yourself so you can sleep better at night. You're not forgiving them so they can sleep better at night, because if they did what they did, they knew it was wrong. They wouldn't sleep better and they would never did to you to begin with. So you know, we have to understand what forgiveness is and what that looks like and how they play a part in your life. So those three things I'm going to speak about, on top of accountability and attention, because I feel like all the things I just mentioned is the thing that we should have been taught when we were younger so we can face this crazy life, but for some reason, that all that was misguided and, you know, thrown under the rug and then we went out and to try to swim with the sharks and some of us can't swim and we're wondering why we're drowning because we don't have the stepping stones that's needed to survive, and those three things that I mentioned are the important things to survival.

45:54 So, yes, my podcast is going to be a plethora of different things, but the main theme is emotional resilience. Emotional resilience. You know that's such an interesting idea. I think you're the first coach ever that I've interviewed that ever said those were the things Emotional resilience, and it's such a practical view. You know, yeah, life is tough and you're going to need a level of resilience. Like most of the coaches I've been interviewed, you know they've said great things, but it was never along those lines. It was usually about taking responsibility, working harder.

46:35 But you really, it just shows itself. You know, emotional resilience just shows okay, this is it, this is the next step. The next step it's more process focused. That's what I'm trying to say. It's an interesting outlook and you know, I think you know that that's interesting. But building emotional resilience is another step, you know, and that must be a tough step as well, especially for you. You know, I think maybe the hardships that you encounter in life, that's what helped to cultivate or help you to deal with your struggles. You know that builds your emotional resilience up too, you know.

47:15 So that's really fascinating. That is really fascinating. And your podcast might be focused on this idea of emotional resilience too, so you could bring on guests where they could talk about those stories as well, right? Yeah, definitely, that's what's going to be centered on, because I want my podcast to be filled with individuals, humans telling their stories and how they overcame their stories, like I said earlier, that we get so trapped up into this idea, this very falsified idea, that our life, situations and circumstances are one-off like no one else experienced it, like we're isolated in what we're going through.

48:05 No, that's not the case, but the world would make it that way. We see everybody on social media happy, smiling, but behind that camera shot, that last camera shot, they did everybody go back into depression or anxiety. We won't see that, so we're judging based on what we see in the forefront, and that's fake. So, coming in, have an individual say, hey, I'm letting my guard down this moment, I want to share something that I survived and I'm hoping that someone can gain from that and learn from it and move forward. Take a nugget of what I said to make their life more prosperous and more healthy, and that's what I'm doing. If I can start off by laying by example, saying my life sucked, I've been abused, I've been neglected, I've been alienated, I've been bullied, but on the other side of that, I'm smiling and it's okay and you can share your story too, and we have to be okay with sharing our story and being okay with the story that we walk through.

48:57 Our journey is not finished, but we can be okay with that and share your story. There's a teenager out there that's looking to you and that story to help her how to save her day, because maybe mom and dad didn't tell her how to do it. But you on my podcast is showing how to do it so I do believe that all of us has have a journey in, in, in sharing our story sharing the story well, that should be the name of your podcast sharing our story, or something. You know it's a bit corny, but I think you could kind of flip it to where it sounds good, you know, but yeah, you. I think that would be an interesting way of building your show up, sharing your story.

49:39 If we could talk about names here, messages, slogans, what do you think is the slogan, at least for your business and your brand brain, maybe your life in general? yep. So the, the one I have always loved, and I created this quote myself um, and I took it with me because of what I've been through and this is my, my slogan um, age does not justify your, but what you learn from your experiences justifies your growth. And that's been my thing, that I always took with me.

50:21 That's been my thing. I have told my clients, that's my thing, I have told my social medias, that's been my whole thing since I can remember. I think it was starting college where I created that, or probably before that. I created that because everyone looked at me like, oh, you've been through a lot, but you're not showing it. It's because I learned and I adapt. I don't have the scars. I may have some internal scars, but externally you're not going to see any of that. I have learned, I have adapted, I have grown from it because I recognized that I needed to. Some don't recognize that the things that is going on for them is for their good. Sometimes they feel like wildlife is happening to me. It's because they're trying to grow, you trying to mold, you trying to do something, and your age doesn't have anything to do with what happens to you.

51:06 It's just life. You have to adapt and you have to grow with it. So age does not determine your maturity, but what you learn from your experiences justifies your growth. That's what it's about. That is truer than ever. I mean, how many you know? I've met plenty of men in their 40s and 50s that act like toddlers. Yeah, yeah, yeah All the way. Either they're 18 year old and have a wise maturity and wisdom or, like you said, they're 40 and they don't even know what's going on with life. And trying to figure it out.

51:47 And don't overact their age. They age, you know, and, um, hold on, hold on, there we go, yeah, probably leave on that. So, yeah, you know, and when we talk about this idea of building maturity, I think it's really important to also look at you know your business as a whole. You know, I think a lot of coaches might have this predetermined idea of maybe how a business might grow or expand.

52:27 You know, some people want to get maybe into this industry where it's speaking, this industry where it's podcasting anything random stuff, and you know it could be books, like I've had coaches that have wanted to do books. I've had, you know coaches that wanted to pass their you know business on to, maybe, you know, their kids in the future. You know every coaching business will have, you know, a shift or a change in the future, you know. So it's always interesting to look at how these you know businesses might change or, you know, evolve over the years, you know.

53:10 So I was just thinking you know, where is your business going to be maybe in the next 10 years? That's a good thing about life. I don't know, I'm very spiritual. I'm gonna let the universe do it for me and keep meditating that the universe got me into whatever way it wants me to die, because I know where I'm, I belong and I belong Right in this moment. And whatever moment happens thereafter I don't know, but it's pretty exciting to find out I'm just going to keep meditating and let the universe guide me to where I need to be. What I tell my clients is the future is never going to happen. The past is not here. You only have today. You only have today and that's all I have.

53:50 And every day I wake up, I'll be thankful that I have this day to keep sharing my story, keep sharing the love for one human at a time and keep moving forward my goal and my hope. But the universe may have something different, but I am going to manifest it out there, to actually own a building where I can have individuals come in and get one-on-one help, not like therapy, but actually life coaching, assistance. That's what my thing is. I actually want to, because they don't come in. I'm very virtual with my one-on-ones, but I actually want to have them come in. There's many things that I I want to do inside this building, but I know having a building is definitely the start of um changing what I see um into in this world.

54:40 Um, and that's just me planning it out, but the universe is going to tell me. The universe is going to guide me. Um crazy thing is I'm always hearing. It might be sound crazy, but I'm always hearing voices on what the universe wants me to do and my business fell into my lap. It's not as if I created this and I knew I was gonna create this. I didn't know what life coaching was. I honestly did. That's why I went into social work but it fell into my lap. I Manifest that I wanted to do more with my life and I wanted to make a greater impact. And I Was watching. I forgot what pack has I was. I was watching a podcast that had life coaching being interviewed, a woman being interviewed as a life coach, and I say a life coach, what is that?

55:21 And then that universe shows you what you are asking for. That's what I believe. The universe shows you what you ask for. I manifested and meditated that I wanted a greater impact and life coaching fell into my lap. And as I started looking into what life coaching is and getting familiar with what the end to outlet was and realized that it wasn't therapy or anything to do with social work. It was actually helping individuals get from point A to B. I was all for it and that's how I started my business. And then from that, from word of mouth, from word of mouth now I have an actual business that I'm loving right now, and then we'll see what happens.

56:02 From that, the podcast is coming up. This fell into my lap as well. I didn't really feel confident doing podcasts. I never was. I didn't ever like being in front of the camera because I had a lot of issues with, you know, my body image and self-confidence and self-love. But now I'm in front of the camera, uh, positive and confident as ever. So I'm going to just keep moving forward in whatever direction it has. I don't want to say 10 years down the line this is what I'm going to be at, because I might not be in that. All I'm going to ask the universe for and meditate. What I want is to continue guiding me on my purpose and my identity. That's all I want in this world, and let the universe do the rest. The universe.

56:43 All right, that's excellent. You know you seem to have a really powerful and direct you know view of where you want to go and you know wanting a building. You know that that's a very ambitious drive. And again, I know I'm saying this a lot, but you're the first coach I've had on this show that's actually wanted to do that in the next 10 years. So that's really, really impressive and it shows that you know you're very serious about this. And once again, you know, I'd like to thank you for being on the show. You've been an amazing, amazing guest.

57:23 And are there any you know closing words you could give to the audience here before I let you off? Yeah, want to know more about me? Go to my website, yannacenecom. My social media handles, I'm sure are going to be in the description of this thing. Please follow me. Send some love over. And the last word of encouragement I want to give y'all is give yourself grace and love yourselves through all your pain and struggles, because you deserve it. And that's it all right. Thanks again, yon, for being on the show, and I will see you all next time thank you.