WEBVTT
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All right.
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Hello everyone.
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Welcome back to the show.
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Today we have the special guest, Yane Sneed.
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I might be pronouncing that wrong.
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She will correct me again.
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I make these mistakes all the time.
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But yeah, let's see what she has to say.
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Did I pronounce that properly?
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If I didn't, so, no, yeah Y'all did, we did Okay.
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So can you tell me a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you're about and what your message is?
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Yeah, loaded question.
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I'm gonna start from my message.
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My message is just basically about giving back, making sure everyone knows that they're loved and that they're thought of.
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And the reason why I say that is because I came from a very challenging background.
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I didn't really have the best foot in life.
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I didn't really have the best cards in life that was dealt to me, so I really had to manifest what I wanted to be in this world.
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I didn't have a lot of family members that supported me or spoke life into me.
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My mom during the early years of my life she mentally and emotionally abused me.
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My dad mentally, emotionally and sexually abused me.
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I didn't really have a lot of friends.
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I was bullied a lot.
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Needless to say that I was very aggressive child, very misunderstood child, and I looked in search for my identity and my purpose because no one really showed me what that looked like and how to really manifest that into this world, into myself as well, to show myself love, my confidence.
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It wasn't until I started going into this mentorship program, being around other kids, because prior to this I wasn't around a lot of kids.
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I was transferred out of school so I didn't really have a lot of friends, so I was really lonely.
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But when I got into this mentorship program, I started finding my belonging and what I realized is that me helping them was for my benefit as well.
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We all connected through pain and I was helping them through what I was going through in life and I started transitioning to this world where I wanted to give back, because there are a lot of individuals out here who are lonely and depressed, filled with anxiety, don't really know their purpose in this world or have low self-esteem and have low confidence and want to do better but don't know how to.
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So I started really challenging myself in college to be the best individual I want to see in this world, which led me to 2022 when I started my own business called Relentless Phoenix.
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That is a life coaching business and inspirational speaking and keynote business where I'm going around and just helping individuals or clients of mine really manifest what they want and overcome their adversities and don't let that adversity become known.
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So my message is all about giving back and just loving yourself and being the best human possible.
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So how did you get the strength to ever open up about your inner struggles with these mentors, because that must have been a very difficult and traumatic situation.
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How did you sort of come into yourself, to where you could open up and begin to discuss that?
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Are you referring to my mentorship or when I was mentoring?
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I'm thinking more in general, because when you go through that level of trauma as a child, you know growing up like I mean it must be hard.
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Talking about that in general, you know, and where does the strength come from to finally open up?
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So when it comes down to my sperm donor because that's what I call him, the one who abused me it took me seven years to open up.
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This happened to me in middle school.
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I didn't open up until I was in college, so it took me about seven years to open up.
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I did a lot of self-sabotaging during that whole period.
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I'm trying to fill that void.
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I'm just trying to get away from the darkness.
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A lot of things I was doing to myself that wasn't good.
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When I was in college and I started being around others, I realized everyone is going through a struggle.
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It may not be similar to mine, but everyone is going through a struggle and may not be similar to mine, but everyone is going through a struggle.
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And when I saw that I was helping individuals with their struggles through what I've been through because it's great to know that someone can empathize with you rather than sympathize, and that's what I saw I felt belonging in helping them because that's one less individual to have to go through depression, anxiety.
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After college, I started getting more involved with individuals because my background was in social work.
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Um, so after I graduated, I started having clients or consumers or customers or what have you, and I started doing social work, I realized there was a great need for us for everyone to share their story.
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Everyone feels like their events are isolated events and that they're going through things alone.
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They're going through their struggles alone and they don't know if anyone can empathize and really feel how they feel it and be that, that ear to listen to them.
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And I was one of those when I was in social work.
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But I didn't really feel about my belonging, my purpose, because I felt like my story was helping individuals rather than my work as a social worker was helping them.
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So I started doing a lot of mental challenges, the mental work of going deeper and challenging my negative thought process, challenging how I saw the world, my perspective and how I saw myself in it.
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And after I did all that, it also gave grace to my mom who emotionally abused me, forgiveness, gave grace to myself, allowed myself to lean into those thoughts and allow myself to get out of those thoughts by understanding that I'm far greater than those negative thoughts.
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It was a challenge.
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It didn't happen overnight, but I got to a period in my life where I, internally, was okay with what I went through and that helped a lot, because I wasn't at first.
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That's why I never spoke up about the things that I went through, because I wasn't internally okay.
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So I got to a point where I was internally okay with it, because everyone is going through something.
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So I have no reason to feel ashamed about what I went through.
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I have no reason to be in a victimhood.
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I could always be in a victimhood and that's where I stand on, because it's really important for me to be okay with what I went through, because everyone is not.
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So I want everyone to see that on the other side of leaning into your pain or your situation comes a blessing, and it's called peace.
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I want to be wholesome in my life and I want to be happy, and I don't want what I've been through or my experiences to change me, because that's what's going on with humanity now.
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We're getting chained to our past not trauma, not pain and no one's overcoming it, and that's why the world is the way it is now.
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So if I can encourage someone to be okay with what they're going through, then as one less human, then life didn't take away.
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That was very powerful.
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And you know, I really understand now why you have such.
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You know a purpose and a direction in what you do and I can understand.
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You know where you got that initial strength.
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And you know.
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I'm just curious now, when you help these people, who in particular did you help and what did you actually get out of it and what did they get out of it too?
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What did you actually get out of it and what did they get out of it too?
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Because I think it's important to know kind of the effect that you have on people too, because that probably makes you feel better about yourself too and you can help people who are going through those things too.
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So could you maybe elaborate on a bit more of those situations where you were helping other people out and you kind of began to build that circle?
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Yeah.
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So the individuals that I help come from trauma background as well depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, frustration, name it.
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They come with a lot of challenges, mental challenges and me being a mindset life coach, I kind of tackled those mental challenges and challenged those thought processes.
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And even before I even knew I had a gift, I knew that I was helping and that was my ultimate goal was just to help, because no one helped me and I know what help feels like and I know that if I can give that to someone, that would make a chain reaction, domino effect One domino fall, another one fall.
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Therefore, in my mind, I can be very biased with this, but I do believe in utopia, that we can have this world where we can make mistakes but no one can judge us, or we can make mistakes and we're okay with that, and we don't have this embarrassment of all the dark secrets that we have in our closet and try to hide them so many times.
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So when I do help these individuals, um, that, the, the, the overall theme that I get when I help these individuals is the, the epiphany of, of it all, like, wow, that all moment, um, that's always what I get, because sometimes we could be always in our own tornado, and it takes just that one individual to to give you a different perspective in life and that tornado is not a tornado no more.
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Now it's a rainbow, or it's the, the sunshine after the storm.
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Now, because now that I came in, looking on the outside in, I give you a different perspective, a way to think about something that you probably never, ever thought about.
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So you have that, that aha moment or that oh, oh, wow.
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I always get that a lot Like I never thought about it that way.
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We always don't.
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We're always in our life situations.
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We don't think outside, looking in, because we're inside of it.
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So we can't possibly think that way.
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So when I intervene and I stop the negative cycle of whatever is going on in their life, it's put through a different thing we all go through.
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But when I stop that cycle, whatever is going on in their life is put through a different thing we all go through.
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But when I stop that cycle, it helps me as well, because once again, I could be biased, but I personally feel as though when I help an individual, it's helping me too.
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There's one less negative individual in this world.
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There's one less hatred in this world.
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There's one less something, because I do have daughters, I have two amazing children and I help them to be the best humans they can possibly be in this world.
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And me being a life coach.
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If I'm helping other individuals that I can connect with and say, hey, you have a friend in me.
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You have someone that probably never told you they love you or probably never say that you got this, so you have that in your ear versus all the negativity that's around you.
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So I am that light in the tunnel for some people, that willing to pick themselves up, and that's the next thing.
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I can only do so much.
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So when an individual actually wants to meet me halfway and say, hey, I want things to change in my life, then that we're halfway there, because it takes an individual to acknowledge they want that change before I ever arrive I can't say, hey, I think you need to.
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You know, fix that situation, look into it deeper.
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But if they're not there with maybe I should or be open-minded enough to look at it, then it's kind of null and void.
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So I'm just really that support system, um for that, and it does help me out because now it's like all right, I don't have to think about this individual anymore as somebody that I have to um think about it gonna make that they're gonna have a bomb threat at a school or they're gonna do do a human sex trafficking or something like that.
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Because how, I think, I think that there's certain individuals in the world that mentally are really messed up and I feel like when I do help at least one, I that's my mantra, one human at a time and I feel like if I do one human at a time, that I would get that, that that utopia type of feeling in this, in in this world, because it I need that, you need that, everyone needs that.
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And when I do that I really do feel good about myself because as one less human I have to worry about, because now, that domino effect where I at least planted a seed inside of them that they can take something that I helped them with to build a foundation, build that roadmap for themselves to get through.
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Okay.
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Do you think, oh, here's a better thing?
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Your kids obviously, you know they remind you of yourself, but do you like that about them?
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Do you like seeing parts of yourself in them, and what qualities do you think might need to be improved or changed as they grow up?
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Do you think they remind you of yourself when you were younger and you needed to overcome those obstacles as well?
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So I've been a lot of emotional resilience within my kids.
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My kids are very young.
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My oldest is eight and my second one is.
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Her birthday is actually today.
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Today, the 30th um, she's two.
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So I I don't have older kids.
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However, what I have started to do is build up their emotional resilience, because as kids they do go through things, you know bullying or being teased or whatever the case may be.
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So I start early with their their emotional control over the environment, and that's really that's really important, because kids don't have at that age eight, don't really have emotional control over their environment.
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They'll have a fit in a heartbeat or last shower, whatever the case may be, because they don't understand how the world works.
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So I talk to my kids 100%, even a little one, because I believe babies understand more than any adult would.
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That's just me.
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So I talk to both my kids and explain more than an eight-year-old, because she has more of a conscious awareness of her environment.
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So I speak to her about a lot of different things that are going to happen in this world.
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I also speak to her how she can move and adapt into this world and how she can be her best authentic self without being bullied or without being pressured into a lot of different things, because she at that that period where you know outside influences can, she's very gullible, any child's very gullible at that age.
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So I try to do the best I can with building her confidence up, giving her that emotional resilience and also giving her that room to be herself.
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Sometimes we lost track of that as we got older, of just being ourselves.
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We wanted to be so much when we was little and then the world hits us and then now we have to, you know, go into the corner and adapt again and come back out and fight.
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You know what life has.
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So I do the best I can with that.
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And as far as when it comes to some of the traits that I have and how it um shook her, shook her down to my kids, I do see that.
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I do see that a lot.
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Um, I don't know the what fruit's going to bear um from that, but some of the things that I do see is there um, especially my daughter, advocacy when it comes to speaking up for herself.
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I admired it a lot.
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But the negative side of that um, it can be of a, of a be, of a sassy nature and um, that's kind of how I am, as, as you can see, I'm very passionate about things that I say, um, and I mean what I say when I say so.
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My daughter has that trait that she see how I approach life.
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So I do have to adjust the tone of of how passionate she say things and how passionate she see things, because she's very smart.
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My daughter is so intellectual.
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I homeschooled her because the school system sucked um.
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I homeschooled her up until possibly a year ago, when she was in first grade.
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So I homeschooled her a lot and made sure she had that um, the academics down, and then I started with how she can mature through her age, age appropriately mature, um, through her age in order to be like me, because she does want to, and that's the sweetest thing ever and I love her for that.
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She want to be like me, so I try to lead by example.
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Um, you want to be like me with this.
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Well, there are certain things that needs to be curved.
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There's certain things that need to be highlighted.
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There's certain things that need to be, you know, tinkered with.
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You don't, can't, you just can't go out there and do things the way you want to do them.
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So I do teach about the rules of law and attraction and things like that, and energy and spirituality.
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So she, she meditates, she do a lot of things that I do, so I guide her as much as I possibly can, but I do understand life and how the outside world can influence her so as much, and we have a great relationship, which which helps plenty when it comes to me having to mold her the way I see her to be the outstanding human being that she is.
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So I do those things and, yeah, it's turned out to be great so far.
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Excellent.
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And now going back to you, how is it like Balancing your lifestyle as both a mother and also a coach, counselor, influencer?
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How do you sort of Balance these two lifestyles and Also take care of yourself as well and maintain all that?
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Yes.
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So I don't see it as being different lifestyles, because what you see here is what I am off camera.
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I'm passionate about.
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What I'm passionate about, I love to give back, regardless of if I'm on camera or not.
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I don't see it as being different because everything, all the many hats I try to put them a line up to each other.
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I'm very spiritual.
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Everything has to have a purpose, everything has to have a meaning, everything have to be intentional and that's the kind of way I work it out.
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So if I'm an influencer, I'm also a fluency in my life.
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I am proud myself.
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If I'm also an influencer in my life, I empower myself.
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If I'm an influencer in everybody else's life, I'm just including my kids.
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If I'm an influencer in the community, I'm an influencer all the way around.
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I'm influencing me, I'm influencing you, I'm influencing everybody who's around me.
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If it's my podcast I'm going to be having, I'm going to be the same thing.
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I'm going to be the same thing.
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When I speak about emotional resilience, I want to make sure everyone know their love, especially when it comes down to my kids.
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It's just called balance and it's called accountability and it's called being attentional, and I'm attentional with everything and it flows in.
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I give myself time for myself as well.
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That's that's much needed, because if I'm exhausted, then I really can't be no good for no one my kids, my, my business, nothing.
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So it's all about balance, and measurable balance too.
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I'm not lazy about the work I do, because I'm very passionate about it and I believe I have a message.
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I give the message to my kids, like I said, my eight-year-old.
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I speak to her with all wisdom.
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I speak to my clients with all wisdom.
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Everything that I touch is going to be filled with wisdom, because that's how I learned.
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I learned two ways either through people or through sorry excuse me even through humans, or through myself.
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So all of it is wisdom bound and measurable goals that I set and make sure every part of my life is achieved one way or another to the goal that I set.
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What are some of the biggest goals you've set that you've accomplished through this game?
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One of the biggest role in general is me.
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My self-improvement was one of the biggest goals that I can ever give myself in this world.
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I was a very aggressive child.
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I got in a lot of fights when I was little.
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My teacher used to call me later Ali because how aggressive I was and how much fights I was getting into because I was a craft of health.
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I went through a tough and traumatic childhood.
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The fact that I can look back at that and literally say, if you knew Yanae 10 years ago, she wouldn't be like this is an understatement, because I really and like I even looked back a couple of days ago.
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My birthday just passed on March 9th.
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So I look at literally look at my birthday and I was like I came a long way, like I sacrificed a lot, long way, like I sacrificed a lot.
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I dealt with a tough hand.
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I dealt with the self-love and the self-confidence that I have.
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That wasn't through no one else, that was through me and that's not taken lightly at all when it comes to, you know, overcoming your obstacles, because a lot of individuals can't overcome their obstacles.
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We've got suicide attempts, we've got a whole lot of issues.
00:20:12.151 --> 00:20:20.356
So to overcome the obstacles that I had to overcome and can be here with a smile on my face and have children because I did suicide attempts.
00:20:20.356 --> 00:20:29.413
I wouldn't have the two bright, smart children, beautiful children that I have now, or had my podcast coming or can be a keynote speaker or inspirational speaker if I gave up.
00:20:29.413 --> 00:20:35.653
So I give myself a tremendous pat on the back and be my own support system, because I didn't have that.
00:20:35.653 --> 00:20:37.617
I didn't have a whole bunch of naysayers.
00:20:37.617 --> 00:20:47.830
My sperm donor, the one who abused me, said I wasn't going to amount to anything, that I wasn't going to go um, graduate high school or college and I was going to have kids, um, even before I reached college, so many kids.
00:20:47.891 --> 00:20:50.778
After I reached college, I was negatively influenced lot.
00:20:50.778 --> 00:20:53.324
I didn't have a lot of elders that could speak life into me.
00:20:53.324 --> 00:21:12.573
So to get to this point, to have self-love, to have my dignity, to have my self-confidence, that's a tremendous feat to face in itself, especially in this world where we have social media and the Kardashians and all this witch ways of trying to exclude you if you're not fit to this type of standard.
00:21:12.573 --> 00:21:14.759
So even my body image.
00:21:14.759 --> 00:21:21.576
It was a lot of things that I had to overcome a tremendous, tremendous hill, tremendous mountain to get to the top.
00:21:21.576 --> 00:21:36.461
So I would say that's my ultimate goal that I would say, hangs down, that I'm extremely proud of, because I can look in the mirror and say I love myself through all of it and lean into those pains and be like you know what.
00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:38.733
It didn't change me like it did before.
00:21:38.733 --> 00:21:47.352
I could speak about the things that I went through and and and and feel great looking towards the future, because I'm not chained to that stuff, no more.
00:21:47.352 --> 00:21:55.096
Like I was, I don't, I haven't abused alcohol Like I was, I'm not, I'm not hurting myself like I was, and that's a great thing, because now I'm in a wholesome environment.
00:21:55.096 --> 00:22:01.619
I have two children that I'm not neglecting, I'm not abusing up, and that message stood with me throughout the test of time.
00:22:01.619 --> 00:22:02.779
And I can't, you know, be be.
00:22:02.779 --> 00:22:27.174
I don't know what the word is, but I'm just beyond grateful that I can be here and share my story, because I don't know where I would have been to make a different decision of giving up and let my life overcome me.
00:22:27.174 --> 00:22:29.340
I overcame it.
00:22:29.340 --> 00:22:30.330
I overcame it.
00:22:35.156 --> 00:22:40.103
How do you advise that other people overcome their obstacles?
00:22:40.103 --> 00:22:41.324
Is there a strategy?
00:22:41.324 --> 00:22:42.565
Is there a game plan?
00:22:47.550 --> 00:22:48.551
How did you give guidance to others?
00:22:48.551 --> 00:22:50.333
So certain things that I say.
00:22:50.333 --> 00:22:55.757
It depends on what those obstacles and adversities are.
00:22:55.757 --> 00:22:59.538
One of the things I say is the future is never here.
00:22:59.538 --> 00:23:00.240
The past is.
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:01.500
The future is never here.
00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:02.540
The past is already gone.
00:23:02.540 --> 00:23:03.501
You only have this moment.
00:23:04.021 --> 00:23:08.806
So don't let your past change you to a moment that hasn't happened yet.
00:23:08.806 --> 00:23:17.653
So if it has happened already, it's not here anymore, it's not changed to you.
00:23:17.653 --> 00:23:18.375
Don't be mentally changed to it.
00:23:18.375 --> 00:23:18.817
Stay in the moment.
00:23:18.817 --> 00:23:19.380
Look towards right now.
00:23:19.380 --> 00:23:20.463
Don't look to the future and say I don't have.
00:23:20.463 --> 00:23:21.407
That's coming from a lack of inadequacy.
00:23:21.407 --> 00:23:22.731
Don't look to the past saying I lost.
00:23:22.731 --> 00:23:25.198
That's coming from a lack of inadequacy and void.
00:23:25.198 --> 00:23:26.622
Be right here in the moment.
00:23:27.230 --> 00:23:36.077
What do you have now that you can use to build your stepping stones to get to that foundation, that strong foundation that you wish to see in the future?
00:23:36.077 --> 00:23:37.796
You have to plant that seed now.
00:23:37.796 --> 00:23:39.837
You can't wait for the seed to drop out of the sky.
00:23:39.837 --> 00:23:41.395
I wish that would happen.
00:23:41.395 --> 00:23:44.467
I prayed every day when I was religious to have a seed fall from the sky.
00:23:44.467 --> 00:23:48.699
Have something fall from the sky to help me, but no, the only thing that's going to help you is to help yourself.
00:23:48.699 --> 00:23:54.594
So if you want that happiness, then want it.